Well, I am getting old. I am fine with it, I accepted the idea. Now I am 33, and my body is still strong and fast, but how long will it last?
I have been training all my life, but for what after all? I feel like a race car always kept in the garage.
In the last few years I have achieved everything is commonly considered “an good status”. I work as engineer in Milan as free-lance for a British company. I have my professionality, and in the same time my freedom.
I have a nice body and I do not miss nothing. Nice clothes, a Moto Guzzi in my garage. But in the deep of myself I want to lose everything, lose myself into the world and be a nomad. Is this suicide? I don’t think so, it’s more an obsession.
You will say: so why don’t you simply give away everything and leave to be a bum? The answer is as logical as simple: because I am scared to lose all the benefits I have accumulated in years of hard work. Nice job: scared and ambitious. Bad combo.
When I calm down and I reflect on it, I understand that the place where you are, the job that you do, the people you are with are crucial factors, but nothing compared to your inner maturity. It’s completely nonsense to develop external career if we don’t improve internally. How? With meditation, there are several dfferent techniques, and the majority of them have nothing to do with religion. I guarantee, word of engineer.
Still the problem persists: how we can relate that need for anarchic freedom with our messy but structured society? Is everything there, in the streets?
I don’t have an answer but you will be sure I am going to find out. So long I have reached a certain number of goals. Next will be to have a job that will give me the possibility to live and work from everywhere.
I will keep you updated