Four months have passed since I met her.
In the last month I saw myself being more and more jealous and possessive. Lacerated between the fear to lose her and the feeling that I was not entirely faithful to myself. I wanted to destroy everything so I could avoid the problem, but this seems so wrong. She’s everything I can ask from a woman and she’s here, ready to live everyday without expectations.
Yesterday we split for a while and this morning I realised something important.
I was not able to maintain my vision since the beginning.
Passions and possession are a source of suffering, everybody knows that.
What if portions of divine dwell into all human bodies? We are all made of stars in the end and in the beginning. What if these infinite silent witnesses are all connected and can communicate with each other (how else do you explain cause and effect if not through a mutual dependence)?
What if the idea of being “A single person” is wrong?
From this perspective love and death appear completely under a different angle.
Can we be permanently separated from somebody we love (or we hate)? Should we be afraid of losing someone, even ourselves? There is no doubt that being indifferent to the loss of a partner, a close relative or a friend sounds not human, and even not right. But if we consider that things might be different, a new light lays on the field of relations.
What means”being with someone”?
If you agree with this vision of interdependence, when you talk to somebody you should refer to that divine part that is dwelling among the other crazy parts of his or her ensemble called personality.
In addition, this vision has to be protected and respected since the begining of a story. The temptations of different visions are always behind the corner. Adopting more common and “normal” visions seems easier in the beginning, but the outcome is a tragedy. Always.
I also got something else: we have to accept and respect the law of cause and effect.
This is not simply realising that a certain set of actions corresponds univocally to a certain scenario, but it’s about trusting the principle in it. It’s about understanding and comprehending that when something is given or taken, it’s because is necessary for us to grow. This hurts.
To which part of ourselves we choose to give the command?